"P.S." - James (1993)

Every group or singer has that one song. The one that grabs you, reels you in, and won't let go. Sometimes you're lucky enough to find that song. "P.S." is that song for me, when it comes to James.

The funny thing is, my memory of discovering it is apparently skewed.

In 1994 I had heard a couple songs by James. "Born Of Frustration" was their first moderately big single in the U.S. It is a really great song, it just didn't draw me in. "Laid" was a huge hit, and for many people it's still the only James song they know, even if they don't actually know the title of the song. Or the name of the band. "Laid" made me more curious about them, yet still not enough to grab the album.

I remember hearing "P.S." live in studio on MTV's 120 Minutes one night. I instantly fell in love, heart and soul. The slow, moody beat, the beautiful violin, and the smooth vocals instantly had me hooked, and I had the album by the end of the week.

The thing is... I'm honestly not sure if they ever played this song that night.

As far as I've been able to find anywhere, the songs they played that night were "Laid" and "Say Something." A live 120 Minutes version of "P.S." is nowhere to be found. Anywhere. So, there's that.

"P.S." is so bitter and beautiful at the same time. On the cassette (which is the version I originally got) it began side 2, which was perfect for listening to it over and over - I didn't have to worry about rewinding to a specific spot, just had to go to the beginning of that side and I was good to go.

I hear you, I hear you, whispering such gorgeous stories

I see you, I see you, trying to break free

You liar, you liar, you can't live the dreams you're spinning

You liar, love to be deceived

I love the chorus variations in this song. While none of them are true choruses, they play on a similar theme. The one above is the first variation. It's rather biting, yet nowhere near as savage as the second variation:

You're falling, you're falling, falling from your god-like distance

You're fashion, just fashion, fashion doesn't keep

You're sour, so sour, all is hope and trust is misplaced

You're sour, now you are alone

I absolutely love this section. It may actually be what made me fall in love with this song in the first place. All these years later, it still resonates deeply in me, mostly because of the memories it drags up from that period of my life. Some of them are pretty terrible memories. Most, though, are pretty good. I was pretty happy in the mid-'90s. When this album came out in 1994 I was 19, back living in Cleveland after graduating high school the year before, and was dating and living with an older woman I worked with at the time. Most of the memories of that time were pretty excellent. Unfortunately, late in '94 the woman I was with broke my heart and I had my first suicide attempt.

So... yeah...

Anyway...

This song (and album) brings a lot back. Listening to it tonight has caused a few tears, sure. Mostly, though, it has brought lots of smiles and good memories.

If not for "P.S." I may not have become as much of a James fan as I am now. As a band, they have meant so much to me over the past 25 years, and finally seeing them live last year was amazing. This song is the catalyst for James being one of my favorite groups, and I'll definitely be writing about them more during the duration of this blog.

And I'm not even sure if I even heard this song when I thought I did.